I reflected on the ritual Mbali instructed me to perform at the end of the divination
I was surprised at how powerful it was to feel the connection in a new and fresh way with my mother and grandfather who had passed some years ago. It gave me a different perspective, a clarity and finally an understanding of how important it is for me to learn to love my son with the same unconditional love that they had for me, despite all the enormous differences in our life’s paths.
I arrived at the water on a New Moon morning. It was a grey, foggy, and cold day. I was alone and the wind was quite strong, the waves crashed close to the cliff behind me.
I made the offerings to the ancestors and the Water spirits. I called my mother, my grandfather and I talked to them for a long time. I released and let go of the parts of the past that Mbali showed me no longer served me and how important it was to do that. I tossed in a flower for gratitude and stood there for a long time enjoying the speckles of color in the gray water.
I honored my unborn children and the life of the man I accidentally and tragically interrupted. It was extremely rewarding. There was also a feeling of completion for something so deeply embedded in me that I could finally let go, peacefully and serenely in the immenseness of the Ocean.
Then the sun came out… it shone just around where I was. Almost instantly I felt its warmth, I felt embraced and loved by the sky. Then…I saw a fin in the distance… I focused my eyes on the water… the fin again … and a spout of water! A whale! The fog appeared suddenly and clouded the sun and I stood there, shivering for a long time, until I felt so cold and I had to leave.
I collected the stones as I was told to. I took them to the shrine in my home. All of a sudden, that evening, my grandmother came to mind. It was like a door opening in my heart. Without any effort at all I forgave her for all the abuse she did to me and my family and I finally understood how much pain she must have been in, to inflict so much pain on us. I saw that no one was able to really support and help her. Now (for the first time ever) her picture is out, on the shrine, together with everyone else’s, close to my heart. I no longer feel anger or resentment for her, only compassion and love.
And now I feel ready to step into my path of life purpose, take action, and change. I feel the support of my ancestors and I am extremely grateful for our renewed connection and inspiration. I truly see this as a new milestone in my life.
Examine your use or lack of use of your creativity. Are you mimicking what others have done or are you building on it in new and dynamic ways? This and this alone is what imbues whales with power and Magic. Animal Speake by Ted Andrews
Thank you Alessandro for having the courage to follow through on this work of forgiveness! I am grateful for your story and the medicine that it carries for us all.