In Honor of my Grandmother Zethu ( Zulu for the Jewel of Africa)
You darkness that I come from
I love you more than all the fires that fence the world
For the fire makes a circle of light
that includes some and not others
But the darkness pulls in everything: shapes and fires, animals and myself,
how easily it gathers them !-Powers and people –and it is possible a great presence
is stirring beside me. I have faith in nights.
~Rilke, tr, Rosen, Aarons, Bly
On January 6th, 2012 the love of my life passed. She inspired me in many ways, and I know she will be working hard for me as an ally in the other world. It feels like she has already started. How fortunate I am to have her as an ancestor in this year! When I asked her how she was she would respond with a twinkle in her eye, ” I’m okay in my way” The depth of our relationship, our story, past and present lives, she lives in me and her presence fires me daily. I offer my work to her.
This fire year is now beginning to heat up as I prepare to travel to Burkina Faso, West Africa, in a couple of days. A big trip that has been a long time coming. I am excited to be able to greet the Dagara People of Malidoma Some’s village, from whom this medicine is gifted. It feels like yet another homecoming.
I am seeing ancestors work in ways that are profound, and it’s only February. Recently a young woman and complete stranger where I was staying in Esalen came to me and asked if she could share a dream with me she had that morning. “In the dream” she said “ people who seemed like ancestors, said the other world is not separate from us and we are not separate from them” I was stunned. It was part of my talk that evening to the group, and confirmation that, that was what I had to tell them.
The ancestors seem to be targeting people to bring messages into this world for us to hear. As a voice for the ancestors, I know that I am being called to really “market them and talk them up” and I am witnessing how they are following through on comittments to support us.
I have seen what is likened to a forest fire that can begin with a simple spark and burn out of control when we allow the forest of lives to be left unattended. If it is not handled correctly, it becomes a fire inside that burns us up, a turning in on ourselves rather than a fire that is creative, passionate and warming.
When fire is experienced not as a combustive fire, but as a warm, comforting, loving fire connecting us to the ancestors in the spirit world, it becomes a rising force that connects us to our purpose.
I sense the ancestors will be showing up in ways we cannot even imagine, as I witnessed in a divination salon recently, when an ancestor, ( someones mother) showed up at the salon, to bring reconciliation between two people who had fallen out and not spoken for a couple of years.
When I think of fire this year, I am thinking of our connection to the spirit world, and in particularly ancestors. How it is their job to support us to find our place and purpose in the larger scheme of things. How they are hungry for our connection and how they provide ways for us to reconcile the ancestral wounding we may be carrying in some cases for lifetimes, showing us the nectar, the milk and honey of our lives, when we surrender into acceptance that we need some support, and they can assist us.
In some situations they are asking for sacrifices of great proportions, that beg us to question every path we take and have taken, not that any of it is or was wrong, just time for transformation. Time to look again, to uproot all that we have known as comfortable and safe. Safety is an illusion I have found and often the more I step into the fire of my life and get through it then and only then can I gain the strength of my life force, my passion my connection, my aliveness.
Malidoma says fire originates in the other world. It comes from those who came before us. As such I now understand that to mean that we came to this world to complete our first agreement to be here, whatever that may be, it is our reason for being, fire is the force that drives that.
As I am embark on yet another big homecoming, I feel as prepared as I can be for the unknown and that is my life now, a constant unknown, and oxymoron this preparedness. Being a voice for the ancestors as I see it, requires me to be prepared for anything, and yet I do not know how to prepare, other than a willingness to trust. PHEW, I could not have said that seven years ago! It is seven years since first being introduced by Malidoma Some to the notion of my ancestors being very much alive, a possibility and concept I embraced and jumped on, because at that point I had run out of options for mending my life. I have not looked back! It changed my life for ever, I have come full circle, as I prepare to meet with the Dagara people.
I can say my reconnection with the ancestors and other worlds has brought me to an unconditional love, an authenticy and true joy that I have only touched in fleeting moments before. Now the nectar of this ancestral wisdom is sweet. How’s that for “Talking them up?” May the ancestors bless and protect you always, taking this quote to remind me and you all with me, should you wish to join me, be back March 2nd.
“What matters most is how well you walk through the fire” Bukowski